Quick summary: What drives your choices, ambitions and behaviors? I am going to suggest that many (if not most) of us still carry values, goals, wants, wishes, desires etc that we forgot to let go of when we grew into adults. Being a teenager is truly difficult… you believe that you are an adult though you are not as biologically and emotionally developed as you think, you desire independence though you don’t truly even know what it is, you have the goal of being unique and different or the same and accepted… either way it is very important for you to have a uniquely identifiable identity, you want to be right and you believe that you are as life has not taught you that being right is subjective and relative, and you wish things to be fair but fairness was a judgment that required only your input. These teenage goals still encourage many of our behaviors as adults. In this post I will help you explore which goals you may still be carrying that you can let go of after you have gained a degree of insight.
Category Archives: Beliefs, Truths, Opinions, & Thoughts
Understanding how your Values impact the choices that you make
In this context I will use the word ‘values’ as having the following definition – a ‘value’ is an emotional state or character attribute that you desire to live within or to be defined by; If you value feeling in control you will make behavioral choices that you believe will lead you to acquiring the relevant emotional disposition… if you value being defined as independent you will make decisions that you believe will assist you in displaying that attribute. By understanding our values we can get a better understanding of what is driving us to engage in certain behavioral patterns. As we gain a greater understanding of our values we can free ourselves to either change an ‘outdated’ or otherwise unwanted value, or we can come up with new behaviors that will help us to arrive at the desired value with fewer consequences. Often times we find that we are stuck in a pattern of behaviors that are not helping us to achieve a desired value.
The Oppression of Creativity and Progression – How regulation, oversight, managed care, and “Big Brother” oppress growth
Quick summary: When a person or system gains power they have the choice to use that power to implement and oversee regulations intended to bring the masses to conform to a truth which was suggested by the relevant power. ‘Knowledge’ then becomes an oppressive tool used by the power to convince people of an absolute truth with the end goal of exerting its intention on the population. The power is very often unaware that they are oppressive… in fact the power often believes that it is being helpful in that it is proliferating a helpful ‘truth’ to the masses. The problem is that when the public rigidly holds onto a truth the process of creativity is diminished (as you no longer need to create anything because the power already found ‘the truth’).There is no end to the evolution of consciousness and as such there is no end to the creative potential of consciousness (we are embodiments of consciousness = you are conscious = your creative potential is infinite). When the power imposes regulation, standards, and oversight intended to bring the population to conform to their ‘truth’ which they substantiate with ‘knowledge’ they intentionally or unintentionally hinder creativity. In short, the power says,” this is the ‘right way’ to do things based on these ‘facts’ and it is in the best interest of the public that we implement oversight to ensure everyone is doing things the ‘right way’… we will put regulation in place to ensure that there are no deviations from our set protocols.” deviations are creations – without deviations there is no creativity and therefore no progression or evolution of consciousness. There is hope… open-mindedness and acceptance can counter power as those two attributes help us to see that truth is relative and ever evolving… there are no absolute truths.
What is Transference in psychotherapy – placing emotional reactions related to another onto the therapist
Quick summary: Transference = when you transfer an emotion meant for one person onto a different person. Transference is unconscious = the person is not aware that they are doing it (though they can be made aware). Transference happens in psychotherapy when a client places an emotional reaction that is related to someone in his or her personal life onto the therapist (ex. the client claims to feel belittled by the therapist when in actuality the client feels belittled by his/her father… transference can occur before the therapist has a chance to “do” anything to incite the given emotional reaction). The client believes that the therapist is the source of their emotional reaction when in fact the emotion has nothing to do with the therapist, as the therapist was generally not present when the emotion was initially created.
Why are people Defensive? Reducing the anxiety of change
Defensiveness is a behavior that people consciously and unconsciously engage in to avoid the anxiety which inevitably arrives with change. Change requires us to drop our perceptions of permanence… this means that when we change we are offered an experienced example of how our concept of self is ever transient… it can feel uncomfortable to be reminded that who we think that we are is not quite as fixed or stable as we like to believe. People are often defensive to maintain the illusion of an unchanging identity… the belief is that if you defend against suggestions of change you will be able to avoid the anxiety involved in altering your identity or your beliefs. Of course people are also defensive when they fear that your suggestions will have a negative impact on beliefs, people, and organizations etc that are very important to them… In this way people are defending against a perceived threat. For this piece I will be talking about defensiveness when a change is proposed that could be perceived as beneficial by the person receiving the suggestion… when a person is willing to consider that the suggested change might be in their best interest.