Quick summary: Sometimes the masses seem to all engage in a consistent behavior … and when such an occurrence happens it is easier perhaps to take the phenomenon for granted so as to not put all too much thought into what motivates such a seemingly universal behavior. Most humans pass judgment, assign rigid labels, and identify with certain beliefs or attributes etc… but why do we do this? Of course there is the basic reason which is fairly consistent amongst all animals – if you label your environment you can act accordingly to increase your likelihood of survival (learning cause and effect demands this ability)… but what about when assigning labels, passing judgment on others, or creating a rigid identity has no measurable outcome on basic survival or is arguably detrimental in some way?… what then is the purpose of this common behavior? From an existential perspective I would suggest that we do such in our endless effort to create meaning from meaningless and to provide evidence that we exist in the first place (perhaps the idea that we don’t truly exist is even more frightening than the inevitability of death). The point is that by better understanding this tendency we are able to move towards a greater acceptance of ambiguity which can set the stage for being more accepting of the transitory nature of all things… this could reduce the anxiety you hold pertaining to the subject of judgment, identification, and labels… and perhaps reduce your need to pass judgments and to hold labels which might not be in your best interest or in the best interests of others.
Category Archives: Individual Growth
Forgiveness is the Heart of Justice
Quick Summary: Forgiveness is the heart of justice… by this I mean to say that the ‘justice’ we seek can often be deconstructed into meaning simply vengeance. There is no justice is vengeance as the suffering which we seek justice for actually tends to grow with acts of vengeance (these acts which perpetuate suffering are often validated by suggesting that they are healing mechanisms inherent in the concept of justice). Forgiveness is the balance to suffering… in forgiveness you interact with the suffering as opposed to the host of the suffering (the offender). In forgiveness you see the intention of suffering and you recognize that to balance the suffering in this world you cannot simply take measurable action against other biological entities… suffering is an abstraction… it is with compassion and empathy and love that we might balance the suffering in this existence. Forgiveness is not to condone or to forget… it is to love everything unconditionally.
Fear
“Fear is a choice… it tempts you to follow… what will you choose to do… to believe…to feel?”
Quick summary: So I was contemplating feelings of discomfort that I was holding some time ago and I started to think about this article that I had just read concerning a scientific discussion about our universe and the possibility of other universes existing that were governed by differing laws of physics. Fear is the feeling that I was holding… I was uncertain about some huge life choices that I had recently made and I was fearful about the lack of predictability in my life. Then I started thinking about the other universes and I tried to conceptualize what a universe, which was governed by different laws of physics, would look and act like. I imagined another universe crashing into our universe… I started laughing at how ridiculous my thoughts were… then I started to laugh at how ridiculous fear was in general. Fearing the future became quite the same thing as fearing another universe crashing into our universe… I decided that it did not do me all too much good to fear such things… or anything.
Forgiveness
“As I forgive I become free… I learn to accept… I gain purpose as forgiveness opens the door for me to help a wider range of people… and I gain love… unconditionally.”
Chaos, structure, rigidity, compassion and acceptance
Quick summary: The path to “enlightenment” is indeed a bit confusing and as I was contemplating my own journey I came to an interesting point of discovery. I have not reached enlightenment and therefore do not know exactly what it is … perhaps until you reach the state, the experience of enlightenment in mostly inconceivable; I will offer some interesting notes that pertain to my current journey. I was thinking about how a path of chaos or a path of structure might lead a person to acceptance and compassion (generally thought of as the more important ingredients in an enlightened entity).
I will define acceptance as – freedom from automatic reaction, freedom from automatic categorizing, living in the moment, instantaneous forgiveness, unconditional love and compassion for all, and a drive for harmony and balance with a genuine empathy for that which disrupts the balance.
Journaling for health, for context, for hope, for expression and for awareness
“This is Not to Judge or to find Strive to fit within the Confines of Definitions” – old journal entry. I just read an entire old journal of mine and was spirited to share the value of such a practice. My body vibrates with the emotions and body sensations described in my old writings – I have had an interesting journey and am currently living within the hopes of old poems. I have held sadness and I have held stress… in holding such my body has suffered along with the realities that my mind focused its’ attention on… and now I have found a health not yet experienced and I am grateful for my journals as they have put my current state in to a place of context… my journals paint clear pictures of the mountains and valleys of life… exquisite detail… and in my current moment I look at the old words – the deep valleys from which I traveled and am overcome with appreciation. My journals allowed a healing through expression… my journals allowed my spirit to rise above the oppressive or defeatist thoughts of my mind… my journals hold my poetic and lyrical most fundamental self… my journals show me where I have been and hints to where I am going… my journals show love to be infinite… my journals show my self to be consistent and continuous… my journals show the gifts of resolution and wellness that were given to me that I may pass on to those around me.
Spend your energy on that which you can truly influence
Quick summary: How much time and energy do you spend on things that appear to be urgent and important that are not particularly urgent or important to you, your family, or your community directly? My sister sent me an article about how little of an effect politics and government agendas actually have on the more important variables concerning a population such as longevity and overall quality of life. The author provided some very compelling research that very much substantiated his point… he displayed how dramatic government policy shifts ended up having very little effect on variables we tend to think of as most important. I then was reading a condensed version of ‘The seven habits of highly effective people’ and found that the author said somewhat of the same thing… spend most of your energy on that which you can significantly influence. Other saying started popping in my head such as “think globally act locally”… I came to the realization that I completely agree… my intention would be to do so… but I too get caught up in over thinking about issues that I really don’t have much control over. The process is detrimental on a range from wasted energy all the way to being destructive and isolating as the energy spent often does not produce while it does create more conflict.
the 7 things you need to create meaningful change – precursors of change
Quick summary: Dr. Fred Hanna did some excellent work on identifying the variables which must be in place in order for a person to experience change. He not only studied these 7 variables he also came out with specific techniques to encourage those variables into existence. according to him the seven precursors of change are A sense of necessity – a willingness or readiness to experience anxiety – awareness – confronting the problem – effort of will towards change – hope for change – and social support for change.
Stating your internal feelings – acknowledge for acceptance – resistance is suffering
Quick summary – are you crazy if you intentionally talk to yourself? What about all the unintentional talking (thoughts that your have automatically) in your head that happens all day? I do not remember where I learned the habit of acknowledging my emotions to myself, but I just started the practice up again… and it works great – journaling or writing a dairy has the same positive affects. For this blog post I will skip the science and simply give you some exercises to try. The idea is to say aloud what ever you are experiencing. ex. “I am feeling guilty that the waitress was offended by the way I ordered.” You can also acknowledge these feelings to another person who is available to listen.
Past blame or “whose fault it is” and on to solutions
Quick summary: whose fault is it? This question is a big one from governmental to family politics. How does assigning fault help in the solution? The most common argument is that “if people know that they were wrong than they will not make the same choice again in the future.” the problem with this logic arrives when the ‘fault’ was either an accident or the fault was do to probability not landing in a person’s favor. To be more specific, accidents happen and life is not predictable – random things occur. Though it is important to find fault in select incidences (ex. who was the criminal in this case), the act of assigning fault simply delays the acquisition of a solution in many cases. What is the point? – perhaps solutions are more important than assigning blame, and even in those instances were fault needs to be assigned to support justice we should not loose site of creating solutions.
Mindfulness Exercise – notice your senses without judgment =54321 present
Quick overview: I will be offering my favorite mindfulness exercise that will help you to get into the present moment (as opposed to being in your head, which is usually concerned with the past and the future). The technique is very simple and I call it the senses 5 4 3 2 1 – it probably has many different names (I did not develop it). The point is to try and observe or to notice what your senses are sensing without placing judgment on the stimulus. I tend to use sight, tactile (feeling), and hearing… smell and taste can also be used in more specific settings. You will start by listing 5 things you see, then 5 things that you feel, then 5 things that you hear – then 4 of each… then 3 of each etc.
Trauma – What happens to a person who has experienced trauma and why.
Quick overview: Trauma is a normal reaction to an abnormally difficult circumstance. The brain has an adaptive method of dealing with traumatic instances in the moment, which can have a negative impact on a person once the traumatic instance is no longer present. In this blog I will briefly explain what happens to a person who has been traumatized, why this happens, and then I will set the stage for future blogs in which I will describe the recovery processes. There are many aspects to the trauma recovery process such as support, empowerment, finding new meaning, and engaging in techniques which help to ‘rewire” the brain.
Wellness with euphoria… sometimes what you want…you may already have
What good is the process of getting if that process infinitely distracts you from what you already got?
Mindfulness – Why it is helpful and what 'being in the present moment' means
Quick summary – Mindfulness is a state of existence in which 100% of your consciousness is on the present moment (as opposed to the past of the future). It is characterized as being a state which is free from judgment in which you engage your environment with a childlike curiosity and innocents – you see the world as novel. The benefits include a greater awareness of the mind-body-spirit connection, reduction in suffering, reduction of stress and anxiety (which tend to be the result of the mind’s fixation on the future or the past) and an ability to experience the present moment with the full richness of you senses. Many would suggest that a state of perpetual mindfulness is the gift of enlightenment.
Existentialism – meaning, meaninglessness and your life
Quick summary: “It is not about finding the correct answer to questions pertaining to life, death, suffering, bliss, meaning, and meaninglessness… it is about creating a meaning which is most helpful, comforting, and peace provoking to you as an individual.” In this blog I will talk about some of the affects that existentialism (or the innate drive to make meaning) has on peoples lives, and how existential themes contribute to therapy.
My Dog – the personal trainer
Quick summary – If you attempt to change your thinking around activities with your dog from the thought of “I have to walk my dog” to “I get to walk my dog” or perhaps to the exaggeratedly positive thought of “I get to take my dog on an adventure which makes me happy and fit” this will intern have a positive affect on both your emotional state surrounding the activity and it should have a positive impact on the likelihood that you will engage in the activity.
The interdependence of dependence and independence
Quick summery – The interdependence of dependence and independence – by allowing yourself to depend on other people for their assistance, you free yourself to be more independent in those aspects of your life in which independence is more suitable and enjoyable.
Argumentative? – substitute the word "but" for "and"
Always use the conjunction “and” instead of the conjunction “but” to dramatically reduce defensiveness, to encourage harmonious conversation, and to increase you dialectic ability (which is basically open-mindedness).