Quick summary: My wife, Franziska Bishop, is a Master’s level nutritionist who writes a really awesome nutrition blog www.justalittlechocolate.com . For this post I am going to be extremely brief and quickly tell you a few tricks that I have picked up from my wife that have been immensely beneficial to my ability to maintain optimal health.
Category Archives: Techniques
Why are people Defensive? Reducing the anxiety of change
Defensiveness is a behavior that people consciously and unconsciously engage in to avoid the anxiety which inevitably arrives with change. Change requires us to drop our perceptions of permanence… this means that when we change we are offered an experienced example of how our concept of self is ever transient… it can feel uncomfortable to be reminded that who we think that we are is not quite as fixed or stable as we like to believe. People are often defensive to maintain the illusion of an unchanging identity… the belief is that if you defend against suggestions of change you will be able to avoid the anxiety involved in altering your identity or your beliefs. Of course people are also defensive when they fear that your suggestions will have a negative impact on beliefs, people, and organizations etc that are very important to them… In this way people are defending against a perceived threat. For this piece I will be talking about defensiveness when a change is proposed that could be perceived as beneficial by the person receiving the suggestion… when a person is willing to consider that the suggested change might be in their best interest.
Mindfulness Interventions for Both the Therapist and the Client to Increase Therapeutic Effectiveness When Treating Trauma
Research has suggested that Mindfulness interventions can be extremely beneficial in the treatment and prevention of symptoms associated with trauma and vicarious trauma. The intention of this paper is to look into the possible positive effects of incorporating Mindfulness practices into therapist self care routines, and therapeutic interventions. To arrive at such an end this paper will briefly discuss the basic tenants of mindfulness and will then move on in examining studies which have noted the positive effects of mindfulness integration. In closing this paper will outline why a Mindfulness state is so critical in relation to recovery from trauma.
Human Sexuality and Stress Management
Quick summary: Sex has a positive impact on stress and yet stress has a negative impact on sexual frequency and desire. I have two suggestions: one, intentionally engage in practices that reduce the distracting power of stress so that you and your partner are more able to focus on the potential of sexuality in the moment, and two, allow your insight and knowledge of the relationship between sex and stress to serve as a motivator to initiate foreplay so that the resulting sex can help you to manage your stress. Either way, increasing sexuality in a committed relationship has been researched to be linked with decreased stress (an incidentally, an increased immune system). If you look at what chemicals (I will be calling hormones and neurotransmitters chemicals for simplicity) are released in the brain when you take anti-anxiety and/or depression medications you will find that your body naturally releases many of the same chemicals during sex (and exercise and unfortunately when eating high calorie foods – this is why we crave items that are not in the best interest of our bodies – increasing calorie intake was historically necessary for survival – now the opposite is often true, but our biology has not changed). Sex does not have all the side effects of medication such as a reduced libido. Sex in a committed relationship (yes the improvements are more significant in a trusting relationship… some of the positive chemicals are not released simply do to orgasm) has a wide range of positive impacts.
Guided Visualization for Emotional Resiliency – comforting a younger you
Quick summary: I will offer a visualization technique that allows for a person to comfort their self so as to reach a resolution for a strong emotion or a ruminating thought that is being carried. Often we carry an emotional reactivity to certain stimuli that is based in part on an unresolved issue that happened earlier in our life. Very often we have the skills, strengths, awareness, or control now that would have helped us to better navigate a difficulty that we experienced in the past. This technique allows for you to imagine your younger self and to help that self towards recovery with the advantageous traits you now embody.
Structural family therapy summary
Quick Summary: I am providing a summary of Structural Family therapy. I will define all relevant terms and offer an explanation as to what structural therapy might typically look like.
Argumentative? Dichotomies in conversations lead to arguments not solutions
Quick summary – Couples and politicians alike commonly experience unnecessary unpleasant emotional reactions and a failure to reach a resolution do to the use of false dichotomies in conversation. Dichotomous thinking is what people commonly refer to as “either or thinking” or “black and white thinking” – basically people oversimplify issues so as to believe that their view point is 100% indisputably right and the other view point is 100% indisputably wrong. Solutions and more agreeable conversations simply necessitate that an adult takes into consideration that almost nothing is “black and white”… most everything is in the “grey area.” This would mean that adults would enter into conversations involving different viewpoints with the understanding that both people are both right and wrong at the same time… If you do not have an ability to do this with certain subjects (religion, politics, a vocational technique etc) then it would be best for you to hold an awareness of your inability to converse on such a subject without promoting an argument. It is hard for me to understand how a politician in a democracy can adequately fulfill their job description if they hold tightly to false dichotomies… in my opinion this is why solutions are becoming less common in our current government – we are unintentionally promoting dichotomous thinkers. This ability to hold security and compassion in the face of coexisting opposites is what has been historically described as Wisdom.
Meditative Breath – focusing on the expansion and contraction of your chest and stomach.
Quick summary: I am going to explain an easy breathing exercise that will aid in the goals of stress/anxiety reduction, and mindfulness practice. Many have heard that to help facilitate a state of mindfulness (non-judgmentally existing in the present moment with an increased awareness of the moment) it is very helpful to focus on your breathing – to notice and to observe your breath as you ad a degree of intentionality to your breathing patterns. Focusing on your breath can help in the goal of not attending to the thoughts that naturally try and distract you from the moment. The exercise below is perhaps a more complicated way of breathing that requires a bit more attention to master… this added attention can be very helpful for people who have a difficult time with over-thinking while they are trying to engage in meditation or Mindfulness.
Narrative therapy: the externalization of perception
Quick summary: By talking with a therapist and re-experiencing emotions, thoughts and emotionally significant experiences, a client can show his/herself that occurrences can be narrated and therefore separated from the concept of self… narration is freedom as we find ourselves to be the author of our own reality. Resiliency naturally emerges as our identity ceases to be determined by the plot of our lives… we are no longer automatically controlled by the plot… instead we are the author… we choose the conclusions of our conflicts.
Solution Focused Therapy simplified
Quick summary: Solution focused in based on the idea that if you get people to start solving and to stop over analyzing the problem they will be more likely to reach a resolution in the present and they will be more likely to seek out solutions or to put the majority of there perceptual energy towards solutions in the future. In short if you focus on problems – you live within problems… if you focus on solutions – you live within solutions. I have outlined techniques to help people to use this method.
Combined Wellness intervention
Quick summary: this is a template for a psychotherapy/nutrition combined service which mainly looks at the psychotherapy intervention. A psychotherapist and a nutritionist offer a combined service to assist a client’s mind, body and spirit to work together in achieving optimal health.
Is it ‘cheesy’ to be positive?
I have been noticing lately in both professional and personal settings that there seems to be a somewhat consistent belief in the US culture that being positive is cheesy, self-righteous, or otherwise a negative process (ironic). Whether you are a modernist or a postmodernist (or something else) most people agree that our thoughts and beliefs have a significant impact on our quality of life. How then can we increase our quality of life if having positive beliefs and using techniques to increase positive beliefs is ‘cheesy’? Many of us have accepted a belief system which does not allow us to give ourselves positive compliments for the things that we do right or well… at the same time many of us are perfectly comfortable about pointing out flaws or other negative observations about ourselves. Perhaps you might choose to no longer carry this belief about positivity and negativity. Perhaps you never wanted to believe that being positive was “cheesy.” How would your quality of life be affected if you allowed more positive beliefs and thoughts into your reality?
Ignorance is Bliss?
Quick summary – Applying a ‘lack of knowledge or beliefs’ onto your perceptions so as to intentionally use ‘ignorance’ as a means of attaining ‘bliss’. ‘Ignorance is Bliss’ is a very common saying that is interpreted many different ways. I intend to offer one explanation as to why ‘ignorance’ can lead to bliss… I will suggest that ‘ignorance’ is something that we can attain intentionally… if we let ignorance guide our perception we can find more enjoyment or ‘bliss’ in life. When we project knowledge onto our perceptions we unintentionally draw automatic conclusions about our environment… often these automatic conclusions, thoughts, emotions, beliefs etc bring us to a place of suffering or at least to a place of reduced curiosity, excitement, openness and interest. If you have nothing to project onto your perceptions (no beliefs, no historical relevancies, and no facts) then every moment is novel and has the potential of bringing you bliss. This bliss is in contrast to the boredom or anger etc which arrives when we label a perception as ‘understood’.
Journaling for health, for context, for hope, for expression and for awareness
“This is Not to Judge or to find Strive to fit within the Confines of Definitions” – old journal entry. I just read an entire old journal of mine and was spirited to share the value of such a practice. My body vibrates with the emotions and body sensations described in my old writings – I have had an interesting journey and am currently living within the hopes of old poems. I have held sadness and I have held stress… in holding such my body has suffered along with the realities that my mind focused its’ attention on… and now I have found a health not yet experienced and I am grateful for my journals as they have put my current state in to a place of context… my journals paint clear pictures of the mountains and valleys of life… exquisite detail… and in my current moment I look at the old words – the deep valleys from which I traveled and am overcome with appreciation. My journals allowed a healing through expression… my journals allowed my spirit to rise above the oppressive or defeatist thoughts of my mind… my journals hold my poetic and lyrical most fundamental self… my journals show me where I have been and hints to where I am going… my journals show love to be infinite… my journals show my self to be consistent and continuous… my journals show the gifts of resolution and wellness that were given to me that I may pass on to those around me.
Stating your internal feelings – acknowledge for acceptance – resistance is suffering
Quick summary – are you crazy if you intentionally talk to yourself? What about all the unintentional talking (thoughts that your have automatically) in your head that happens all day? I do not remember where I learned the habit of acknowledging my emotions to myself, but I just started the practice up again… and it works great – journaling or writing a dairy has the same positive affects. For this blog post I will skip the science and simply give you some exercises to try. The idea is to say aloud what ever you are experiencing. ex. “I am feeling guilty that the waitress was offended by the way I ordered.” You can also acknowledge these feelings to another person who is available to listen.
Externalization – you are with the problem… you are separate from the problem
Quick summary – externalization is a technique from Narrative therapy which uses language to separate a person from their problem so that the person is better able to manage that problem. The basic idea is that it is easier to fix a concern if the concern is not rigidly attached to the person’s identity or personality (you are not stubborn… you use stubborn behavior). In this way the therapist would help a person to see that they are not a depressed person… but rather they are a person living with depression. This process offers perceptual freedom to a person… If they no longer view themselves as innately depressed then they can choose what to do with the depression which is with them (as it never was truly part of them). Narrative theory tends to view diagnosis as counter productive as a diagnosis encourages a person to over identify with the label… this takes away the person’s freedom and hope.
Mindfulness Exercise – notice your senses without judgment =54321 present
Quick overview: I will be offering my favorite mindfulness exercise that will help you to get into the present moment (as opposed to being in your head, which is usually concerned with the past and the future). The technique is very simple and I call it the senses 5 4 3 2 1 – it probably has many different names (I did not develop it). The point is to try and observe or to notice what your senses are sensing without placing judgment on the stimulus. I tend to use sight, tactile (feeling), and hearing… smell and taste can also be used in more specific settings. You will start by listing 5 things you see, then 5 things that you feel, then 5 things that you hear – then 4 of each… then 3 of each etc.
Ineffective Solution Strategies – without a simplified problem, a solution is unlikely
Quick- In this post I will be talking about deconstructing (specifying and simplifying) a problem to more manageable variables. Often times the problem is either to big to be adequately addressed by one simple solution (ex. – to solve pollution lets outlaw gasoline) or the proposed solution neglects to address other related problems (often the proposed solution is to remove someone else’s solution without offering a replacement solution for the more fundamental problem). Successful solution acquisition strategies are something that I have worked very hard on (I have developed a solution engine) – I will start by simply explaining how to identify what I will call the “foundational problem” – or the problem that is at the source of the issue.
Talking with Teens– Try using authentic open-minded empathetic curiosity.
Quick Summary: For a teenager, the brain development is at a stage where they are generally dichotomous thinkers (black and white thinking – you are right or you are wrong – no middle ground). The thinking patterns of this developmental stage can make teens difficult to converse with when there is a disagreement. I find four interaction strategies to be of paramount importance in such an instance. I use an authenticity, open-mindedness, empathy, and curiosity – With sincerity, I ask clarifying question that have the sole intention of better understanding the teen’s individual opinion and feelings; at the same time I avoid trying to get the teen to arrive at a universal ‘truth’.