Quick summary – externalization is a technique from Narrative therapy which uses language to separate a person from their problem so that the person is better able to manage that problem. The basic idea is that it is easier to fix a concern if the concern is not rigidly attached to the person’s identity or personality (you are not stubborn… you use stubborn behavior). In this way the therapist would help a person to see that they are not a depressed person… but rather they are a person living with depression. This process offers perceptual freedom to a person… If they no longer view themselves as innately depressed then they can choose what to do with the depression which is with them (as it never was truly part of them). Narrative theory tends to view diagnosis as counter productive as a diagnosis encourages a person to over identify with the label… this takes away the person’s freedom and hope.
Category Archives: Therapy Explained, Simplified, and Un-Jargoned
Mindfulness Exercise – notice your senses without judgment =54321 present
Quick overview: I will be offering my favorite mindfulness exercise that will help you to get into the present moment (as opposed to being in your head, which is usually concerned with the past and the future). The technique is very simple and I call it the senses 5 4 3 2 1 – it probably has many different names (I did not develop it). The point is to try and observe or to notice what your senses are sensing without placing judgment on the stimulus. I tend to use sight, tactile (feeling), and hearing… smell and taste can also be used in more specific settings. You will start by listing 5 things you see, then 5 things that you feel, then 5 things that you hear – then 4 of each… then 3 of each etc.
Can you be too close? – Enmeshment and automatic emotions transfer
Quick summary: When I say ‘too close’ I mean to say that there are some relational bonds which are so intertwined that the individuals in the relationship have a difficult time deciphering what is their ‘stuff’ and what is their partner’s or other person’s ‘stuff’. One of the most common aspects of an enmeshed (too close – completely intertwined – no significant boundary between the individuals) relationship is the inability to avoid mirroring or taking on the emotional disposition (mood) of the other person. In such a relationship the individual will empathically ‘feel’ the emotions of the other person and will automatically feel the same way or a set way (if one person gets embarrassed the other will feel embarrassed as well). When a relationship is enmeshed the individuals can also tend to have a limited ability to accept that the other person can hold a differing subjective perception or opinion than themselves (this will be cover in another blog – today’s topic is emotional transfer). Increasing self-awareness while creating an awareness of the existence of enmeshment in the relationship are the first steps towards reducing the phenomenon.
Trauma – What happens to a person who has experienced trauma and why.
Quick overview: Trauma is a normal reaction to an abnormally difficult circumstance. The brain has an adaptive method of dealing with traumatic instances in the moment, which can have a negative impact on a person once the traumatic instance is no longer present. In this blog I will briefly explain what happens to a person who has been traumatized, why this happens, and then I will set the stage for future blogs in which I will describe the recovery processes. There are many aspects to the trauma recovery process such as support, empowerment, finding new meaning, and engaging in techniques which help to ‘rewire” the brain.
Mindfulness – Why it is helpful and what 'being in the present moment' means
Quick summary – Mindfulness is a state of existence in which 100% of your consciousness is on the present moment (as opposed to the past of the future). It is characterized as being a state which is free from judgment in which you engage your environment with a childlike curiosity and innocents – you see the world as novel. The benefits include a greater awareness of the mind-body-spirit connection, reduction in suffering, reduction of stress and anxiety (which tend to be the result of the mind’s fixation on the future or the past) and an ability to experience the present moment with the full richness of you senses. Many would suggest that a state of perpetual mindfulness is the gift of enlightenment.
Existentialism – meaning, meaninglessness and your life
Quick summary: “It is not about finding the correct answer to questions pertaining to life, death, suffering, bliss, meaning, and meaninglessness… it is about creating a meaning which is most helpful, comforting, and peace provoking to you as an individual.” In this blog I will talk about some of the affects that existentialism (or the innate drive to make meaning) has on peoples lives, and how existential themes contribute to therapy.
Genograms – reducing blame and finding solutions in your family tree
Quick summary – When visiting certain therapists (trained in family therapy) you might have the opportunity to do a genogram to shed some light on some of the themes or patterns in your multi-generational family – your family tree. A genogram typically lists 3 to 4 generations of your family (ex. your children, their siblings and their cousins; you, your siblings and your cousins; your parents and their sibling) and uses a combination of shapes and lines to visually symbolize how all the people are connected. A Genogram can be used for many different purposes – I enjoy helping clients to look for commonality to reduce self-blame and to look for instance in which another family member resolved an issue similar to the client’s presenting concern.
Why Feeling Questions? – Emotional Expression Enhances Bonding
Quick summary: Exciting new research done by therapists such as Dr. Sue Johnson (the pioneer of emotionally focused therapy) have added efficacy to therapeutic interventions which help clients to express emotions. By sharing your most intimate feelings to your partner you can increase the overall intimacy and relational strength of your union. This makes common sense if you think about it – when you decide to trust someone and to confide in him or her – most believe that this makes you closer or more bonded to that person.