Quick summary: I am offering a review of - Michael E. Metz; Barry W. McCarthy. The "Good-Enough Sex" model for couple sexual satisfaction. Sexual and Relationship Therapy; August 2007; Volume 22 No. 3 Pages 351 – 362 – this is by far my favorite article of the subject of human sexuality… I am very thankful to the authors for putting this wonderful piece together. I use the information from this article all the time with my clients… If you want to help your self or your clients to have more sexual satisfaction within a relationship I would highly recommend you attain this article.
Meditative Breath – focusing on the expansion and contraction of your chest and stomach.
Quick summary: I am going to explain an easy breathing exercise that will aid in the goals of stress/anxiety reduction, and mindfulness practice. Many have heard that to help facilitate a state of mindfulness (non-judgmentally existing in the present moment with an increased awareness of the moment) it is very helpful to focus on your breathing – to notice and to observe your breath as you ad a degree of intentionality to your breathing patterns. Focusing on your breath can help in the goal of not attending to the thoughts that naturally try and distract you from the moment. The exercise below is perhaps a more complicated way of breathing that requires a bit more attention to master… this added attention can be very helpful for people who have a difficult time with over-thinking while they are trying to engage in meditation or Mindfulness.
The Science behind Emotional Intelligence: literature review
Quick overview: The studies I reviewed were basically trying to find a consistent definition of emotional intelligence so that the topic could be scientifically investigated. The researches end up concluding that emotional intelligence became so ‘trendy’ so quickly that the theory was never able to ground itself with a consistent definition… in all the definition that the authors found, there was not a definition that lent itself to research. The definitions of emotional intelligence were too broad and the topic could not be broken down into observable and measurable variables. The studies that I investigated suggest that it is important to teach people skills that help people to be more empathetic, self regulating, thoughtful and compassionate etc… they were not arguing the validity of the importance of what society has come to define as ‘emotional intelligence,’ instead they were suggesting that emotional intelligence lacks of consistent definition…The authors maintain that it is hard to say what the value of emotional intelligence is to society when there is no way of Cleary articulating what emotional intelligence is.
Narrative therapy: the externalization of perception
Quick summary: By talking with a therapist and re-experiencing emotions, thoughts and emotionally significant experiences, a client can show his/herself that occurrences can be narrated and therefore separated from the concept of self… narration is freedom as we find ourselves to be the author of our own reality. Resiliency naturally emerges as our identity ceases to be determined by the plot of our lives… we are no longer automatically controlled by the plot… instead we are the author… we choose the conclusions of our conflicts.
Michele Weiner Davis’s ‘Divorce Busting’ – a response
Michele is applying a brief solution-focused intervention specifically to the issue of avoiding divorce (I enjoyed the consistency in that her book is literally and figuratively brief and solution focused).
Solution Focused Therapy simplified
Quick summary: Solution focused in based on the idea that if you get people to start solving and to stop over analyzing the problem they will be more likely to reach a resolution in the present and they will be more likely to seek out solutions or to put the majority of there perceptual energy towards solutions in the future. In short if you focus on problems – you live within problems… if you focus on solutions – you live within solutions. I have outlined techniques to help people to use this method.
Empathy – nature and nurture
Quick summary: Empathy comes from nature and from nurture… from perceived positive and negative experiences. Empathy is something which is advantageous to the social human animal… there are many ways of augmenting this ability.
A subtle difference between Narrative and Cognitive psychotherapy
Quick Summary: Narrative and Cognitive therapy both help people to think about their world a bit differently. Cognitive therapy helps people to look at and to change disruptive beliefs and Narrative therapy helps people to put more attention on the positive storylines that make up their reality. Both hold that positive thoughts and a positive [...]
'narrative means to theraputic ends' – book summary and review
Quick summary: Below is a book review for ‘Narrative means to therapeutic ends’ written by Michael White and David Epston. I use this opportunity to highlight the major themes of Narrative therapy in general. This is a great book!
Rogerian (or Person Centered) therapy summary
Rogers maintains that if a therapist offers a setting in which he/she is genuine, empathetic and can offer unconditional positive regard to the client, then the client will naturally grow into an effective, affectionate, empathetic, accepting, self-aware, secure and happy person.
Combined Wellness intervention
Quick summary: this is a template for a psychotherapy/nutrition combined service which mainly looks at the psychotherapy intervention. A psychotherapist and a nutritionist offer a combined service to assist a client’s mind, body and spirit to work together in achieving optimal health.
Gestalts vs. Math and deductive reasoning
Does Gestalt theory (the whole is greater than the sum of its parts) display one of the limitations of math in general? In other words does gestalt theory show that not all reality can be quantified with mathematical equations? As far as I can see (and I am far from an expert) math is based in deductive reasoning (if all a is b and b is c then a is c). If there are no ‘truths’ (if gestalt theory displays how 1 + 1 does not always equal two) then what does this mean for all the ‘truths’ that mathematics has suggested. Is our reality a construct based on our universal agreement in mathematical ‘truths’ that might not be true? Are we creating the existence of other universes and laws of physics based on inductive reasoning that we constructed to be deductive reasoning?
Is it ‘cheesy’ to be positive?
I have been noticing lately in both professional and personal settings that there seems to be a somewhat consistent belief in the US culture that being positive is cheesy, self-righteous, or otherwise a negative process (ironic). Whether you are a modernist or a postmodernist (or something else) most people agree that our thoughts and beliefs have a significant impact on our quality of life. How then can we increase our quality of life if having positive beliefs and using techniques to increase positive beliefs is ‘cheesy’? Many of us have accepted a belief system which does not allow us to give ourselves positive compliments for the things that we do right or well… at the same time many of us are perfectly comfortable about pointing out flaws or other negative observations about ourselves. Perhaps you might choose to no longer carry this belief about positivity and negativity. Perhaps you never wanted to believe that being positive was “cheesy.” How would your quality of life be affected if you allowed more positive beliefs and thoughts into your reality?
Fear of Snakes is from the fear of snakes
Quick summary: A fear of snakes is one of the most common fears held by humans… why? Many would answer, “they are poisonous and can kill you,” but many things kill significantly more humans than snakes (especially in the US). I am going to offer a hypothesis that I have been thinking about. The fear reaction of a snake is seemingly instantaneous… perhaps we fear snakes as they represent an emotional reactivity unhindered by a cognitive filter… they react to the ‘unsafe or danger’ emotion in the present moment without projecting a deductive tool of a belief system onto the invoking stimulus. There is then no way for us to assume control without a control of our own emotional disposition as the snake will react instantaneously to our disposition.
Love with the mind, the body and the spirit
Quick summary: We experience love with the mind the body and the spirit… to maximize the love in your relationship you can focus on all three…
Ignorance is Bliss?
Quick summary – Applying a ‘lack of knowledge or beliefs’ onto your perceptions so as to intentionally use ‘ignorance’ as a means of attaining ‘bliss’. ‘Ignorance is Bliss’ is a very common saying that is interpreted many different ways. I intend to offer one explanation as to why ‘ignorance’ can lead to bliss… I will suggest that ‘ignorance’ is something that we can attain intentionally… if we let ignorance guide our perception we can find more enjoyment or ‘bliss’ in life. When we project knowledge onto our perceptions we unintentionally draw automatic conclusions about our environment… often these automatic conclusions, thoughts, emotions, beliefs etc bring us to a place of suffering or at least to a place of reduced curiosity, excitement, openness and interest. If you have nothing to project onto your perceptions (no beliefs, no historical relevancies, and no facts) then every moment is novel and has the potential of bringing you bliss. This bliss is in contrast to the boredom or anger etc which arrives when we label a perception as ‘understood’.
Anti-dogmatic types have a dogma themselves
Quick summary: for this post I am reporting on the following study - Bartlett. j. psychological underpinnings of philosophy. metaphilosophy. vol. 20 1989 - As I consider myself somewhat of a philosopher I am using this post for humor... the joke is essentially on me. the study examins the personality traits which are suggested to be more prevalent in philosophers... the piece is inteded to have an ironic humor... the irony being that the philospher's conscious intenion is often motivated by an unconscious intention that is motivated by the opposite intentions of the philosophers counscious intention... what?
A subjective interpretation of Jesus’ message about the forgiveness of sin…
Quick summary: The purpose of this post is not to engage in any type of debate as to the efficacy of one religion as opposed to another (or the efficacies of religion in general as most religions carry a consistent fundamental structure). On my own spiritual journey I don’t really trouble myself with facts, if there is something helpful than that is good enough for me… I enjoy my minds inability to understand everything… this cognitive roadblock often frees me to simply be. Instead of a debate or a search for fact I am offering a subjective interpretation of the teachings of Jesus (whether you believe he existed or not or whether you believe he was who Christians say he was or not) that I find helpful in understanding the idea of forgiveness and the possibility of peace. I am going to suggest that the nature of humans is good and when we forgive (accept with compassion and empathy) the sins (traumas, offenses) that are done to us we are better able to not pass (with our own thoughts and actions) that sin onto other people… this is true justice… this is peace (heaven). To clarify I do not define myself as being anything in particular and I do very much appreciate the teachings of religions…
Postmodernism – making an ‘out there’ philosophy useful
Quick summary – By allowing yourself to investigate how your relationships, actions and emotions are governed by your perceptions you may find that by offering yourself a freedom of perception you can change the way in which you are impacted by your reality. – By using open-mindedness and an adaptability in relation to your beliefs and ways of perceiving, you free yourself from patterns of seemingly automatic reaction. Postmodernism suggests that reality does not exist… it is a construct of your belief system… a radical postmodernist would say that if you believed that you could walk through a wall, then you could walk through a wall… perhaps this is not particularly helpful to the masses, but what if we took this down a notch… what if you allowed yourself the freedom to perceive a situation differently so as to reduce your discomfort related to the subject? What would be the benefits of letting go of some of your deterministic thinking (‘when this happens I must feel this’ ‘If I did that I would be bad’ ‘I should_______ because _______)? Sometimes we trap ourselves in suffering by rigidly holding on to what we label to be objectivity… postmodernism suggests that objectivity does not exist – there are not facts. Perhaps if we took a small piece from postmodernist thinking we could all say that “I don’t have to feel or behave in a set way… my reactions do not have to be predetermined… I have a consciousness which is evolved enough to allow me to live without being controlled by my environment” – I can choose to perceive or believe my reality to be different. Embracing your subjectivity is an emancipation from atomization.
Chaos is the result of resisting what is
Quick summary: what is, is simply what is until we try and capture what is with structure… as we move forward and find no structure to apply to what is then we resist our acceptance of this dilemma and by doing so create the chaos itself… in other words chaos does not exist without resistance… without judgment, without a need to define, without a need to make meaning or to organize, chaos simply is the same as what is. Chaos generally has an effect on the mind and the body… chaos generally arrives with an emotional vulnerability, with stress, with explosiveness, with confusion, with volatility, or perhaps with anxiety. Without resisting what is you can free yourself from some unnecessary stress. A good example of this is found in the resistance of fear or sadness… Anger is exceptionally common among humans and anger carries with it its’ fare share of baggage… much anger would be avoided if we allowed ourselves to experience our fear and sadness in the moment (or after – it’s not too late)… sometimes sadness or fear is what is… anger is often resistance… anger is generally chaos.