Quick summary: Most people both consciously and unconsciously and both intentionally and unintentionally present themselves with different characteristics, beliefs, opinions, dispositions, emotionality, and behaviors etc in different settings. Who is the real you? How are different settings encouraging you to present your self in a certain way? If you closely examine the expectations of your different settings you can gain a degree of insight into why you act, think, and emote differently in different situations. For some, with insight comes a degree of freedom… freedom to present your self the way you wish to, as opposed to offering the self which your setting encourages you to be. Sometimes your setting encourages you to be the self which you would like to be… sometimes you feel uncomfortable with the self that you present… by examining your many selves and the different expectations of your different setting you can gain more control of the self you present in different situations.
Tag Archives: increasing self-awareness
Can you be too close? – Enmeshment and automatic emotions transfer
Quick summary: When I say ‘too close’ I mean to say that there are some relational bonds which are so intertwined that the individuals in the relationship have a difficult time deciphering what is their ‘stuff’ and what is their partner’s or other person’s ‘stuff’. One of the most common aspects of an enmeshed (too close – completely intertwined – no significant boundary between the individuals) relationship is the inability to avoid mirroring or taking on the emotional disposition (mood) of the other person. In such a relationship the individual will empathically ‘feel’ the emotions of the other person and will automatically feel the same way or a set way (if one person gets embarrassed the other will feel embarrassed as well). When a relationship is enmeshed the individuals can also tend to have a limited ability to accept that the other person can hold a differing subjective perception or opinion than themselves (this will be cover in another blog – today’s topic is emotional transfer). Increasing self-awareness while creating an awareness of the existence of enmeshment in the relationship are the first steps towards reducing the phenomenon.