Quick summary: the answer to the title question is almost invariably “both”, but to move forward with the false dichotomy noted I am going to comment on how anger is often an emotion that we feel for ourselves…though we are often quick to blame something external for our feelings. Though the environment might have done something to encourage distasteful feelings, often it is how we reacted – how we chose to defend or not defend ourselves, which are the source of the deeper and perhaps more significant source of anger.
Tag Archives: self-awareness
Anger and Arguments – Are you defending the topic or your self?
Quick summary: as part of increasing your self-awareness I suggest that you take a look at the topics that really get you ‘heated’ with the goal of coming to an understanding of how you personally identify with that topic. In this self-exploration you might just find that your emotion has very little to do with the topic and is perhaps more related to: an unresolved occurrence from you past, or an attempt to create a stable sense of who you really are (your identity), or both.
Stating your internal feelings – acknowledge for acceptance – resistance is suffering
Quick summary – are you crazy if you intentionally talk to yourself? What about all the unintentional talking (thoughts that your have automatically) in your head that happens all day? I do not remember where I learned the habit of acknowledging my emotions to myself, but I just started the practice up again… and it works great – journaling or writing a dairy has the same positive affects. For this blog post I will skip the science and simply give you some exercises to try. The idea is to say aloud what ever you are experiencing. ex. “I am feeling guilty that the waitress was offended by the way I ordered.” You can also acknowledge these feelings to another person who is available to listen.